Pervertables

silicon spoonSo you’ve decided to go kinky for Halloween, and now you just need the equipment to play.

Sure, if you have several thousand to spare, you can build and equipment a play room to rival Jack Winter, but most of us don’t have that sort of money. Plus, it’s really embarrassing when your mother-in-law comes to visit and wants to know exactly what you do in that room. It’s hard to convince her that the A-frame is really just for drying shirts, or that you don’t have a vacuum cleaner and use those paddles to beat your rugs by hand.

So Evie’s treat this Halloween is a list of pervertables, BDSM toys you can buy on a budget and which won’t embarrass you if they are found around the house.

Experienced riggers swear by hemp rope for bondage, but you probably won’t find that in your local supermarket, so check out the garden centre or saddle shop for cotton rope. And while you are in the saddle shop, be sure to buy a few rolls of leg bandages or vet wrap. Perfect for immobilizing your lover without having to spend an hour tying knots first.

Important safety point. When doing any form of bondage, make sure you have a scissors or EMT shears handy, just in case you need to release your bunny quickly.

Or for a different approach, try a roll of cling film. It’s fun watching someone try to wiggle when he is wrapped up.

Any scarf will make a good blindfold if you wrap it around the head twice.

A pet shop is a treasure trove of collars and cuffs, often with pretty sparkles.

For wax play, look for soy candles as they have a lower melting point than mixed blends, and avoid beeswax which has a high melting point. The aim is fun, not a trip to A&E.

Wax gets everywhere, so a coated tablecloth or picnic rug is handy.

When it comes to sensation play, the options are limitless. Feathers, ice-cubes, Deep Heat, Icy Cold, toothpaste (this takes a while to kick in, but it works), silk, hairbrush bristles, orange oil and a good old-fashioned kitchen fork.

For the sadists out there, who needs nipple clamps when you have clothes pegs?

Kitchens are a treasure trove of hitty things. My absolute favourite is my Tiger spatula which is a lot less innocent than it looks. Wooden pancake flippers are good too, and the old-fashioned wooden spoon is notorious for a reason. Beginners should try a silicon spoon which produces a lot of noise but not a lot of string.

While you are in the saddle shop, don’t forget to pick up a couple of riding crops. Look for ones with a flat lash rather than a leather loop on the end. It’s half the price of anything you’ll buy in a sex shop and better quality too. If your mother-in-law sees it, claim you took up riding.

Wide leather belts are fun.

The IKEA shoehorn is famous. 50c for one of the most effective implements around.

Plastic rulers are effective and so are hair and shower brushes.

With a bit of imagination, you can have a play room of your own on a budget.